Engulfed by a constant haze and a buzzing in my head - I've been out of bed a good 15 minutes and no this ain’t a hangover....
Life is a suspended bridge - and a lot of water has flown under! And those damned leafless trees outside my window are so somber and depressing.
Maybe today I'll muster the courage and strike a conversation with my next door neighbor - if I still have one! Eight months of staying put in a place and I don’t know the face of my neighbor.
The closet needs cleaning - pile of clothes is getting a bit too cumbersome to sort through - not that I have any where to get dressed and go.
Kitchen and bathroom - my personal Achilles’ heel - always bringing to null my efforts to be a proud renter of a clean apartment. Why bother with something that refuses to stay decent for more than 2 minutes. Guess I can live with the sink full of dishes a couple of more days -
A squirrel passes by my patio every other day - I leave it some nuts and watch it savoring it sitting upright on its hind limbs and chomping away. But then a squirrel is hardly a dog - you can’t pet it and cuddle up with it and feel good about it. Squirrel eats his nuts, does his thing and swooshes off!
The Telly is a friend I've spent far too much time with - know everything she has to say - sometimes I mouth her words as she is saying them - after a long association with her one realizes that there is that essential element of surprise that is lacking in her - everything is just rehashed and replayed!
Then there is my laptop and its wireless gateway to the world outside! Now that's one accessory you don't want to be without. Only lately, every time I log onto a Google talk or Yahoo I end up chatting up with friendz who seem to be going thru a rough patch and would like me to aide in some fashion.
Like a good friend of mine who is sorely missing female companionship in his life wants me to make funny noises on Google talk to momentarily give him the illusion that all of womankind is just one big giantass clown and so who needs them anyway...
Or this other friend who is engaged and having second, third, fourth and so on and so forth endless thoughts about it and constantly wants advise.....
Or another one who is disgruntled with life in its totality and needs a scapegoat to vent out his frustrations and anger...
Then there are those happy souls in whose life apparently everything is so gung-ho that their sunny dispositions makes you want to throw them head down in murky water! They of course need an audience to applaud their many accomplishments!
Boy - do I sound bitter! Maybe I'll just fix myself something cool to drink, run a warm bath and a concoction of all the aromatic liquids that promise many good things for mind, body and soul; put on some good music and stay put in the tub till I cool off my head!!
Thursday, December 07, 2006
Friday, November 17, 2006
A Good Year - A bad night
Friday night - indulged in a couple of drinks and headed out to see what all the fuss was surrounding the new Blonde Bond! The few glimpses of his topless torso on the promos were also a motivation, but lets not get into that!
We did arrive a good hour before the scheduled show - turns out all shows till midnight were SOLD OUT! Now this ain't no midget size theatre - it's a fairly decent size one with multiple shows running! But never underestimate the charms of Mr. Bond - he's not one to lose his fan following anytime soon!
No one wants to be the loser who makes a trip to the theatre and goes home without seeing a movie so we frantically searched the show listing for something watchable. A Good Year - was playing at a good time, had seats available - which was even better and Russell Crowe was playing lead - excellent!
When I walk into a movie at a very 'movie-watchable' hour and do not see seats filling up, a great sense of panic fills me! The head count was dangerously low here - which has often, in the past, been an indication that the next few hours of cinematic experience are going to be pure torture! You may not trust critic ratings but you can bet you're money on the head count inside the theatre!
And how I was right...Mr. Crowe's unshaven face with his bewildered, lost expressions so reminiscent of his 'Beautiful Mind' days failed to bring out the character of a slick, bullish, egolomaniac stock market trader nor did it move me through his so- called transformation which ultimately leads him to refuse a partnership in a city and retire into the old world charms of a vineyard he inherents from a dead uncle!
The two women in the movie are eyecandy and the setting somewhere in France, supposedly, is a good backdrop. But the movie in itself is so losely written, progression from one scene to the other seems disconnected somehow, the Indian lady playing Russell's secretary has the most annoying dialogue delivery - all in all it was just a drag and I am still to decipher why it is titled - 'A Good Year' !!!!
If only Mr. Bond had saved the night !
We did arrive a good hour before the scheduled show - turns out all shows till midnight were SOLD OUT! Now this ain't no midget size theatre - it's a fairly decent size one with multiple shows running! But never underestimate the charms of Mr. Bond - he's not one to lose his fan following anytime soon!
No one wants to be the loser who makes a trip to the theatre and goes home without seeing a movie so we frantically searched the show listing for something watchable. A Good Year - was playing at a good time, had seats available - which was even better and Russell Crowe was playing lead - excellent!
When I walk into a movie at a very 'movie-watchable' hour and do not see seats filling up, a great sense of panic fills me! The head count was dangerously low here - which has often, in the past, been an indication that the next few hours of cinematic experience are going to be pure torture! You may not trust critic ratings but you can bet you're money on the head count inside the theatre!
And how I was right...Mr. Crowe's unshaven face with his bewildered, lost expressions so reminiscent of his 'Beautiful Mind' days failed to bring out the character of a slick, bullish, egolomaniac stock market trader nor did it move me through his so- called transformation which ultimately leads him to refuse a partnership in a city and retire into the old world charms of a vineyard he inherents from a dead uncle!
The two women in the movie are eyecandy and the setting somewhere in France, supposedly, is a good backdrop. But the movie in itself is so losely written, progression from one scene to the other seems disconnected somehow, the Indian lady playing Russell's secretary has the most annoying dialogue delivery - all in all it was just a drag and I am still to decipher why it is titled - 'A Good Year' !!!!
If only Mr. Bond had saved the night !
Thursday, November 16, 2006
It's over!
Never a lender or a borrower be
For loan oft loseth both itself and friend
Wow...those words never did ring truer. Had a verbal showdown - over a heated exchange of emails!! Abuses swung freely and insults piled up! And what was the pea under the pile of mattresses that was causing all the discomfort ? - MONEY!
I've known this person for almost 8 years now. We've been through a whole gamut of situations and swung high and low on volatile emotional see-saws! Somehow through all that our "relationship" survived and while I read this brave feat of survival as friendship - my "friend" concluded it was a "situationally convenient arrangement". Having history as my point of reference - I concluded we'd survive even this difference of opinion like we had on several ocassions before and I might have been right if only the ugly green monster had not shown up!
Well to cut a long story short...this person, lets address him as Mr.D, needed an urgent monetary situation taken care of - which didn't allow him the luxury of relying on the postal department's efficiency! I happened to be in a position where I could transfer funds faster which I did while Mr. D writes me out a cheque! Well Mr. D's situation got taken care of and I got my money back! Everyone happy? End of story?
Nope - not yet! Almost 7 months later - today while we are on one of the upswing cycles of our lil' see-saw...and tempers are flying and words are being hurled out - To my great surprise - no let's make that shock - to my great shock... Mr. D comes up with lines that make reference to the "cheque" and echo sentiments that i had embarassed him by not showing enought faith in him. That I had somehow betrayed our "friendship" by not believing that he had posted the cheque until it finally reached me!
I am trying to recall the chain of incidents! Let me think - I do remember shelling out a good some of money - more than a couple of thousand dollars !! Hmm...Could I have been foolish enough to give off that money if I didn't believe I was going to get it back? Or had I suddenly lost faith after I parted with my money? heck I don't recollect asking for proof of payment!
What must I have done to be at the receiving end of a transaction that was long over? I could have indulged in a post mortem analysis. But should I invest any more time in dwelving further into the mind of a person who can hold on to petty issues and brew over things, to let them simmer and wait for an opportune moment to spring it on me ! Money is evil but it also turns out to be, in this case, the bitter-sweet panacea that clears the blur!
As always Mr. D and I will differ on our versions of the story but thanks to the underlying theme of this one, things will be different.A lop-sided and unhealthy relationship will finally be over.
The $ has put a .
For loan oft loseth both itself and friend
Wow...those words never did ring truer. Had a verbal showdown - over a heated exchange of emails!! Abuses swung freely and insults piled up! And what was the pea under the pile of mattresses that was causing all the discomfort ? - MONEY!
I've known this person for almost 8 years now. We've been through a whole gamut of situations and swung high and low on volatile emotional see-saws! Somehow through all that our "relationship" survived and while I read this brave feat of survival as friendship - my "friend" concluded it was a "situationally convenient arrangement". Having history as my point of reference - I concluded we'd survive even this difference of opinion like we had on several ocassions before and I might have been right if only the ugly green monster had not shown up!
Well to cut a long story short...this person, lets address him as Mr.D, needed an urgent monetary situation taken care of - which didn't allow him the luxury of relying on the postal department's efficiency! I happened to be in a position where I could transfer funds faster which I did while Mr. D writes me out a cheque! Well Mr. D's situation got taken care of and I got my money back! Everyone happy? End of story?
Nope - not yet! Almost 7 months later - today while we are on one of the upswing cycles of our lil' see-saw...and tempers are flying and words are being hurled out - To my great surprise - no let's make that shock - to my great shock... Mr. D comes up with lines that make reference to the "cheque" and echo sentiments that i had embarassed him by not showing enought faith in him. That I had somehow betrayed our "friendship" by not believing that he had posted the cheque until it finally reached me!
I am trying to recall the chain of incidents! Let me think - I do remember shelling out a good some of money - more than a couple of thousand dollars !! Hmm...Could I have been foolish enough to give off that money if I didn't believe I was going to get it back? Or had I suddenly lost faith after I parted with my money? heck I don't recollect asking for proof of payment!
What must I have done to be at the receiving end of a transaction that was long over? I could have indulged in a post mortem analysis. But should I invest any more time in dwelving further into the mind of a person who can hold on to petty issues and brew over things, to let them simmer and wait for an opportune moment to spring it on me ! Money is evil but it also turns out to be, in this case, the bitter-sweet panacea that clears the blur!
As always Mr. D and I will differ on our versions of the story but thanks to the underlying theme of this one, things will be different.A lop-sided and unhealthy relationship will finally be over.
The $ has put a .
Sunday, November 12, 2006
Saturday, November 11, 2006
the tousled bedspread is gaping at me
on it's wrinkled surface my future i see
i am the dancefloor for time to tango
it's every move etched on me
until one day the wrinkled face is me!
youth is fleeting, a thousand desires awaiting
the fire in me is slowly dying
i long, i yearn, i want, i lust
so much of a woman in me before i turn to dust
the tousled bedspread is gaping at me
it's wrinked surface could have been me
caught in the tango of love that was danced all night....
Another night of dreams shattered by the morning light
and all i wake up to is the wrinkled sheets and me!
on it's wrinkled surface my future i see
i am the dancefloor for time to tango
it's every move etched on me
until one day the wrinkled face is me!
youth is fleeting, a thousand desires awaiting
the fire in me is slowly dying
i long, i yearn, i want, i lust
so much of a woman in me before i turn to dust
the tousled bedspread is gaping at me
it's wrinked surface could have been me
caught in the tango of love that was danced all night....
Another night of dreams shattered by the morning light
and all i wake up to is the wrinkled sheets and me!
Monday, November 06, 2006
Jobless in Virginia
Having wrapped up on "essential" education and on the brink of a career, there was one thought among many others that used to find its way out of my subconscious... a dread - Would I like countless before me resign myself to a life of service!! Would this be the beginning of the end of my freedom? Would I now have to meekly submit to the calendar to dictate when I could stay in bed an extra couple of hours and when I had to wake up, dress up and be out the door? Would it become mandatory for me to value a Sunday and cling on it for dear life?
Being a commerce student in Mumbai I never really had to bother with the calendar or watches? Time was an ally..as free flowing a spirit as I was! Exams came once in a blue moon and having being blessed with a naturally sharp mind I could cram up the "essence" within a couple of weeks and spill it all out on paper and end up with more than satisfactory grades!! Parents happy, professors not complaining - everyone goes on with their life while I slide back into the cushion of freedom and time - my time!
Well - the lure of making money of course made me brush aside these "fears" and march bravely into the world of the working class. Once in here, to be honest, I actually quite enjoyed myself. Except for the grueling wake up routine - I am NOT a morning person - and to drag myself out of bed was the only low point of my day.. once within the confines of my office where the rest of the world and its reality were muted out I belonged to that place almost as much as its tastefully picked out furniture! Most days were good and seemed to have a good flow to them and having given up the habit of carrying a watch way back in my college days I would be surprised to learn that the work day was over and I had one more day's salary waiting for me !!
Being employed for almost 6 years and having ticked on almost all the points on my wishlist that money could buy I decided to give it all up and move to America as a wife on a dependent Visa. Well - after six years of working I felt this forced break would be a blessing in disguise! But nope - couldn't suffer through it for more than a month! I could not just sit at home, by myself - catching up on all the sleep I had sacrificed in the past - getting in touch with my "inner self" so to speak! I scrounged around for work - I worked for free - anything that made me feel like I belonged to the family of the working class!
Having finally got a work permit I am now allowed to earn a living in this country. It was a day of celebration. I had once again found a way to give up my freedom and my time to someone else - in exchange for monetary compensation, of course! I once again will belong to the family of the working class. I am ecstatic!! There is that irritating thought that still tries to be fill me with dread - that lil' voice that breaks in on my celebrations and asks me - Is this the beginning of the end of my freedom?? Hmmm..Just a couple of paychecks and this party pooper shall be shushed!!
Being a commerce student in Mumbai I never really had to bother with the calendar or watches? Time was an ally..as free flowing a spirit as I was! Exams came once in a blue moon and having being blessed with a naturally sharp mind I could cram up the "essence" within a couple of weeks and spill it all out on paper and end up with more than satisfactory grades!! Parents happy, professors not complaining - everyone goes on with their life while I slide back into the cushion of freedom and time - my time!
Well - the lure of making money of course made me brush aside these "fears" and march bravely into the world of the working class. Once in here, to be honest, I actually quite enjoyed myself. Except for the grueling wake up routine - I am NOT a morning person - and to drag myself out of bed was the only low point of my day.. once within the confines of my office where the rest of the world and its reality were muted out I belonged to that place almost as much as its tastefully picked out furniture! Most days were good and seemed to have a good flow to them and having given up the habit of carrying a watch way back in my college days I would be surprised to learn that the work day was over and I had one more day's salary waiting for me !!
Being employed for almost 6 years and having ticked on almost all the points on my wishlist that money could buy I decided to give it all up and move to America as a wife on a dependent Visa. Well - after six years of working I felt this forced break would be a blessing in disguise! But nope - couldn't suffer through it for more than a month! I could not just sit at home, by myself - catching up on all the sleep I had sacrificed in the past - getting in touch with my "inner self" so to speak! I scrounged around for work - I worked for free - anything that made me feel like I belonged to the family of the working class!
Having finally got a work permit I am now allowed to earn a living in this country. It was a day of celebration. I had once again found a way to give up my freedom and my time to someone else - in exchange for monetary compensation, of course! I once again will belong to the family of the working class. I am ecstatic!! There is that irritating thought that still tries to be fill me with dread - that lil' voice that breaks in on my celebrations and asks me - Is this the beginning of the end of my freedom?? Hmmm..Just a couple of paychecks and this party pooper shall be shushed!!
Thursday, October 26, 2006
The Blog Bug bit me....
Almost anybody who's anybody is blogging these days! But it really hit me when I came across a blog by a kid I knew a long time ago. We might be apart by slightly more than a decade but nothing in his blog would suggest that except for his mentions on being behind in his blogs thanks to "school".
At 15 this kid is opining on the business strategies of Microsoft and Google. At 15 all I could think of was how to bunk a lecture in college! Not to say that I was completely clueless. I was into books (read: fictional) and current affairs (read: latest movies) and pretty internet savvy considering the fact that I was totally hooked on to the then Black and White interface of the shell account and had introduced many of my friends to the "wonderful" world of Internet chatting back in my school days!
And now there's this 15 year old who makes me look back at my teen years and feel quite "uncool"! But then again I wonder how I made late 20-sumthings feel when I was 15! The World's always changing and when it changes it shows no bias to a particular age group.Its an open ride and anyone can hop on at any time. At 15 you might embrace the drifts with more enthusiasm and soul. But really there's nothing stopping you even at 50!!!
But I don't intend to wait that long. So, while furiously surfing through the internet to make up for "lost time" I came across, among other things, quite a few blogs! Frankly I seemed to quite like the idea of people airing their views on events round the world or sharing their lives or just ruminating on randomness! I loved the whole spectrum from the very political to the everyday mundane! Simply Brilliant - that's how the Blog Bug finally bit me! And so ..here I am adding my 2 cents to the ever-growing yet intriguing world of Bloggers!!
At 15 this kid is opining on the business strategies of Microsoft and Google. At 15 all I could think of was how to bunk a lecture in college! Not to say that I was completely clueless. I was into books (read: fictional) and current affairs (read: latest movies) and pretty internet savvy considering the fact that I was totally hooked on to the then Black and White interface of the shell account and had introduced many of my friends to the "wonderful" world of Internet chatting back in my school days!
And now there's this 15 year old who makes me look back at my teen years and feel quite "uncool"! But then again I wonder how I made late 20-sumthings feel when I was 15! The World's always changing and when it changes it shows no bias to a particular age group.Its an open ride and anyone can hop on at any time. At 15 you might embrace the drifts with more enthusiasm and soul. But really there's nothing stopping you even at 50!!!
But I don't intend to wait that long. So, while furiously surfing through the internet to make up for "lost time" I came across, among other things, quite a few blogs! Frankly I seemed to quite like the idea of people airing their views on events round the world or sharing their lives or just ruminating on randomness! I loved the whole spectrum from the very political to the everyday mundane! Simply Brilliant - that's how the Blog Bug finally bit me! And so ..here I am adding my 2 cents to the ever-growing yet intriguing world of Bloggers!!
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